Feeling Blue :( ….??

Assalamu’alaykum Dear Readers,

Feeling down and sad about things whether its life, family or work is actually quite normal to go through. Even our beloved Prophet (saw) experienced it. Its just one of those things that happen when you least expect it, we might agree on this or not, but I feel it is as if Allah is telling you ‘come back to me my slave, just pray, ask, supplicate and I (Allah) will remove the sadness, the depression, the loss, the anxiety and whatever else you going through’.

But the main point here, is not allowing that overflowing sadness or whatever else it is to overcome us, thus falling deep into the problem and not finding a way out. Rather, the best of solutions is prayer.

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Come, let us pray.

Seriously, it is fascinating that sometimes when we find people that would advice us of go make du’a, or read the Qur’an or pray tahajjud, they get irritated or somehow angry and say, we are humans and we just need someone to talk to.

Yes, that is true, that we are humans and we do need someone to talk to at times, but what makes it all go wrong is when we seek the comfort from them, and I know you know what this comfort I mean.

Yes, they will eventually make us feel that sense of not being alone or that there is someone for us out there but don’t you realize that by that very moment it comes to your head that its all because you didn’t recognize the One who has been with you all these time? The One who you run to the last when He should have been the First?

Let me tell you something. I’ll make this very brief.

Rememeber when we read about ‘Uthman Ibn Affan Radiyallahu Anhu, when he lost his wife then in a matter of days he lost his son, the Sahabah and even the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam was there to comfort him, but to whom did he turn to? To Allah, first and foremost.

Remember when Julaybib Radiyallahu Anhu was feeling low and depressed because of how he looked and how he was treated, he turned and did his best to perfect his worship, and look how Allah comforted him by making the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam take him as his own.

Remember when Ammar Radiyallahu Anhu lost his parents, and him seeing them martyred infront of his eyes, where did he find comfort in? In the words of Allah and the promise of Allah that they are indeed the first martyrs of Islam!

Remember when Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam whenever a calamity would come to him (e.g. the death of his beloved Khadijah and son), he would call out on Bilal saying, “O Bilal, call the iqamah for salah, and comfort us by it!” [Abu Dawud]

Look at the situations where they were placed, are you (who is reading this) placed on a greater lost, a greater calamity? Imagine, if you were Ammar who saw his own parents killed infront of him, would you act the same way as Ammar?

Or if you were ‘Uthman, would you act the same way or would you let depression eat you whole?

I am telling you, because I have been there, nothing can give you the comfort you truly need except Allah, so seek it in Him, not from anyone else.
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May Allah Swt make it easy for all of us. Ameen

 

The 3 stages…

Assalamu’alaykum dear readers,

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We surely have taken a long gap from writing, now we are back and going to start on the subject of raising children.

Ali ibn Abi Taalib, radhiAllahu anhu advised:

“Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).”

*First Seven Years

In the first seven years, your goal is to build a strong connection to your child. This is the foundation, the base from which your relationship with them grows. If this is rock solid, the remaining years will be much easier. If this foundation forms poorly, the next years will be more challenging.

If you have young children, this (first seven years) is the time to roll up your sleeves and invest, heavily, in your and their future. In fact, you will be rewarded for all the righteous progeny that survives you, not just children, until the Day of Judgement.

*Next Seven Years

Once children reach seven, they are ready to learn. (Perhaps this is why Finland starts school at age seven.) This is the time they are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them, and do in front of them. If you built that solid foundation in ages 0-7, they are now more than willing and happy to learn from you.

This is the time to teach them everything — aqeedah, halaal and haraam, fiqh, all the things they need to know to survive throughout their life. Qur’an and seerah are also very important; as one prominent tabi’een said, “we learned seerah (frequently and in details) from our parents the way we learned Qur’an.”

Teach them sports, too; Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Teach your children swimming, archery and horseback riding.” They gain many benefits from it, including physical fitness, learning teamwork, and sportsmanship.

*The Final Seven Years

Once your children hit 14, they are probably already mukallaf (full adults Islamically, and accountable for their actions) — this happens at puberty, or at age 15 at the latest.

At this age (grade 8-9), you are mostly out of the picture. Children achieve independence; their personalities manifest; they look more to their peers than their parents and families. During these critical years, befriend them, advise them, and do what you can; understand that they are now full adults, and the choices are theirs to make, right or wrong.

If you worked hard during the last two periods of seven years, you will already be that trusted confidant, that advbisor, that go-to person when they need help or advice. Be part of their lives, and advise them as best you can.