From an Anonymous sister, great advice embedded in the following script.
The Wise Mother
My husband and I disagreed about something. I did what I have always done when I had a difference of opinion with someone… I called my Mum. Before I could even finish my sentence, she asked me if I had prayed about it yet.
Before I could respond, she told me that she would not allow me to…call her and complain about my husband to her, nor would she allow me to discuss our arguments/disagreements with her.
I sat there stunned. Then she said something that has stuck with me for a very long time.
“My daughter, the thing is, because you love him the way you love him, when the argument is over it’s over. But, I don’t love him the way you love him, and it would be far too easy for me to pick up a grudge and carry it if I think he is wrong. You can’t do that to me, or to him. It simply isn’t fair.”So the next time you want to narrate the fight in your marriage to a third party ask yourself – Do I love my spouse? Does the person I’m reporting them to love them the way I do? Will they easily forgive them the way I will? If not then don’t pass them on to be crucified.
Your marriage is between you, your spouse and Allah. Everyone else is an outsider.